I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
