wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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