Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
