This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
