Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
