His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
