I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Small penises have feelings too.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
