party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
