but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
