god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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