in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
