Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
