Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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