the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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