the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
