I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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