Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
