Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
