Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
