She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
