i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
