Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
