every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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