The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
