I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
