i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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