Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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