...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Where is the hickey?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I will be naked everywhere
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
