He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
