You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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