so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
