he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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