2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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