Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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