I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
