Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
