Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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