Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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