Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
