Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
