Your mouth is God's brothel.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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