if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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