so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
