I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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