So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
