Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
