well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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