Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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