Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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