Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
