I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
